I can really be an arsehole sometimes. This isn’t a new discovery; I realised in March of this year I believe it was and I’m sure many of you on here have already concluded long before.
I made a promise to myself that I’d change, that I’d go for an upgrade to become a new and improved model, and to many extents I have done just that. However, it is very nearly a new year, I’m almost another year older and I still have not fulfilled anywhere near as many changes as I need to.
I still suck as a friend. I haven’t worked out that my actions can be damaging or hurtful to others. I’m superficial, always acting and I change who I am depending on who’s company I am in. I lie to gain popularity or attention. I am late all the time, for everything. I must be in control at all times. I can’t handle the thought of being wrong. [snip…]
So that just sucks. I am an arsehole through and through. But, I will not admit defeat. I will use every bit of willpower I have to change. Therefore, I must learn to think before I speak. I must not lie. I must improve my time management. I must learn to trust others. I must learn that I do not possess the intelligence of Stephen Hawking, therefore I may get things wrong. Above all, I must discover my true personality and embrace myself rather than buckling under the pressure of trying to enact a perfected vision. Nobody is perfect.
But I don’t suck at everything; this year I have over doubled the revenue of a once failing local business, bringing it back in to the black and more. I have had the pleasure of working with a long time friend come co-director in significantly growing and improving another business. I negotiated a contract with a global entertainments company doing something that I’m truly passionate about whilst making money. Business really is booming, and I am eternally grateful for those of you that have helped me get where I am today.
This year, I have befriended a handful of loyal people who have stuck by me through thick and thin – lord knows why! However I am truly grateful for your friendship and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me. I’m sorry if I have upset you, inflicted any anger or hatred, or if I’ve hurt you. I have truthfully never intended for any of that. With 2015 being just a stone’s throw away, I would like to make some public New Year’s Resolutions.
I have an awful lot of changes and improvements to make as a person, and some of those changes won’t be easy to make. We’ve all heard the phrase “changing the habit of a lifetime” right? I can’t promise many things, but one thing I promise for sure is that however good of a friend I have been to you this year, I will be a better friend next year. I won’t let you down, and I will be there for you whenever you need me. I am going to improve myself and enjoy life more than I already do, and I hope that we can enjoy it together.
Thank you.
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